Archive for the ‘Andy Cingolani’ Category

Thumb Head by Manuscule on

Everybody knew you didn’t mess with Carlton. Yeah, not really a tough-guy name. His mom was a big Fresh Prince fan, but didn’t want to name him Will. Too presumptuous. But anyone who did that stupid dance ended up with a broken clavicle, which he did with his thumb. Brutal. Then, there’s this kid, about nine, goes right up to Carlton and says, “Hey, why’d you break my uncle’s clavicle? He wasn’t dancing. He’s got Tourette’s. It was a spasm!” Kid books it, y’know? Why would he stick around? Carlton stroked his chin and thought, “What’s a clavicle?” and shrugged.

Jolly Roger by AzraelBears on

Hoisting the Jolly Roger. The skull and crossbones. The grinning face of doom. This face tells the villagers to hide their children and pray.

“That’s not what it means,” said the old man. “Them bones is the remains of Roger Jewell, and no one feared him. He ran like a wench at every sign of peril. And if he got cornered, he’d beg for his life. So bring that flag down, cut it into pieces and we shall all wipe our arses with him.”

All it took was the tip of my sword to shut him up.