iBull by Tom Lucas

Fighting Bull by dumont on DeviantArt.com

Antonio struggled to breathe.  

His guts were spilling out but he did not panic. He had always fought with honor and respect for tradition. He would die as many of the bulls had, with grace.

A young, spindly man knelt beside him. “So what do you think?”

“He was the greatest I have ever faced. I stabbed him with many swords. I danced with him for an entire day. He never tired.”

“Awesome! It’s all robot bulls from here on out. Thanks for beta testing. Here’s an Amazon gift card for your trouble.”

Antonio wished he had Prime, but alas.

Look Both Ways Before Crossing! by Tom Lucas

The Juggernaut, Armoured Truck by Mark-MrHiDE-Patten on DeviantArt.com

Comment: The Brothers Mutante only liked to do two things: murder and driving their truck. So they put their heads together, spent a month in the garage, and welded their asses off.

Result: A monster truck covered in spikes and blades and ragged hooks with a built-in wood chipper installed on the front bumper. To the sides, drainage pipes ran the length of the truck, with strategically placed holes from which the blood would flow.

What a site to behold as it plowed through pedestrians!

An endless, torrential shower of blood, guts, blood, gore, blood, brains, blood, bone, and blood!

Man Crush by Tom Lucas

Hammers and War by AngryPest on DeviantArt.com

Gesticules loved the arena. Today’s contest had been particularly enjoyable. He had taken his massive hammer and swung it with abandon, allowing it to freely crush his opponents. What fun.

Before him were the hundred hapless corpses of all those who had thought that they might be his better. They were, as always, wrong. And the reward for their mistaken thinking? The tears of those that they once loved.

Gesticules walked to the center of the arena to soak in the roaring cheers of the crowd.

“No man can defeat me,” he announced.

“Release the tigers,” said the Arena Master.

Bored to Death by Tom Lucas

Shellmon with knife by Shellmon on DeviantArt.com

Eddie tested his binds. Tight. He wasn’t going anywhere.

Bobby the Boar dropped the blade on the table next to him. It delivered an impressive ka-thunk. He took off his wife-beater, revealing his hirsute, barrel chest.

“Here we are. You, me, and my buddy.”

“You mean the knife?

“Yah. My Mark I trench knife. It’s almost seven inches long with a cast bronze handle. It has a triangular blade and a guard designed to protect the knuckles. It was designed by …”

Eddie nodded off. Bobby slapped him awake.

“Oh, it’s Bobby the BORE. Now I get it.”

In it went.