Crackers of Doom by Tom Lucas

Pirate Parrot by Aeyolscaer on DeviantArt.com

The rival ship was thundering toward them. The captain, his gloriously plumed parrot perched on his shoulder, addressed his merry marauders.

“Kill them all. And be sure to grab all of their crackers,” he said in his peculiar singsong voice.

The men rumbled. One brave soul raised his hand. “Sir? We are ready to fight, but we have some questions.”

“There is no time. Crackers await!”

The parrot fluttered his wings and took to the air. The captain’s limp body, a crudely stuffed effigy, immediately fell to the deck.

“Called it,” said another.

Soon sabers and talons would cut deep.